What?

Cool my jets?

NO!  They Need.  To Listen.  To Me.  Now.

I admit, sometimes I can get spun-up rather easily. Not often, but sometimes. I know I’m not alone. More and more of us do these days. There’s a lot more out there to spin us up. Who can help it?

A lot depends on my general disposition at the time. Those of you who know me personally, I hope you know the more easy-going, level-headed guy. That’s who I like to lead with.

When I find myself winding up, I quickly reach for those inner reigns and pull back.

Reason and emotion don’t go together. They’re harbored in different parts of the brain and they express themselves through different pathways.

It’s hard to reason with someone who’s melting down.

So, it only makes sense that we should do our best to maintain our cool when under siege.

Anger and frustration are emotions, and the only reaction they’ll get is defensiveness. Because the person on the receiving end will automatically feel the need to stand their ground and protect themselves.

Or, they do have the option to flee. Which, depending on the temperature of the moment, may be completely understandable.

When I’m in a customer service line, I like it when the person ahead of me is a bit of a jerk. Then, when it’s my turn I can give a small, but sincere smile combined with a slightly furrowed brow. I’ll empathize, be friendly, and offer some encouragement.

Why? Because we’re all in this together and showing a little humanity is a good thing. And the side-effect is that I usually get great service.

That person who was on the receiving end of a crap-storm is now in the position of turning one direction or the other…

And a little understanding goes a long, long way.

Now, if they’ve been rattled beyond recovery, it’s another story. They may be toast for the rest of the day. And that doesn’t do anyone any good either.

How do you usually react in this situation?

Do you have a strategy? Do you hold back, or let loose?

I remember being out with another couple once for dinner when something didn’t go quite right with the waiter. This was a long time ago, but I remember thinking it was no big deal because I don’t remember what tweaked him. He grumbled and claimed that, “One thing I hate about living in this area is that you never get good service. Anywhere.”

Did you hear that? “…hate about living.” Man, it’s just not worth it.

I had to ask him, “Where do you go? We always get great service.”

What’s the difference? Is it expectation? Overly high standards? Attitude? A person’s general vibe?

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When we have a problem that we believe was inflicted upon us by someone else, by some business or establishment… we just want it corrected. We want our problem to be solved.

We don’t want to be told we don’t have a problem…

Or that we’re expecting too much… or that it’s our fault.

We just want to know that someone cares enough to make things right.

Our goal in these situations is to have our problem, imagined or real, taken care of. What’s going to get us there faster? Guns loaded, or engagement in productive interaction?

I’m a guy who likes to start with reason, and what’s reasonable. Of course, like most humans, I start from my view of reason. But when someone hits me with something I see as categorically unreasonable, consider my button pushed.

What about you?

What’s your default position if something isn’t going your way?

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In this go go go, now now now, more more more world of ours, it’s like we’re all running around with our pants on fire. And I’m guessing that’s the underlying problem.

The world is getting wound way too tight. It’s the unrelenting stimulation. The crazy-busy schedules. Missed lunch breaks, working late, traffic… you know the drill.

It’s worth stepping back, maybe even stepping outside of ourselves for a moment and taking a careful look at how we’re reacting to the world. I’m not talking about critical self-analysis. Just a look. Occasionally… or frequently, if we’re feeling the need.

Loosen the belts, throttle down… give yourself a break.

Give someone else one too… we all can use a break now and then, like today. And tomorrow.

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This post was inspired by First, de-escalate by Seth Godin on Seth’s Blog January 11, 2018. You should check it out too. He takes the same idea from the other side… you’ll see what I mean.

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But as soon as I officially starting writing LifeUntucked posts, the motivation had stalled. I couldn’t find inspiration in one of the 150 or so ideas on my list. I pushed through with what little brut force I could muster.

Since then, I haven’t looked back. And I feel like the muses are being kind. But, I let you be the judge of that.

Thanks for coming along… it’s getting fun!

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