When Life Starts to Pile Up – Push Back or Go with the Flow?

You Can Either Push Back or Go with the Flow.

When life starts to pile up, our natural response is to push back. And that’s the exact wrong thing to do.

Why is it that when the going gets a little tough, we want to fight back immediately? By now, we’ve all been through enough cycles of ups and downs that we should know better.

What if the solution isn’t to immediately try to force a solution?

Hey, you’re bumping into my rhythm!

I’ve been thinking, talking, and writing about ‘rhythm’ a lot lately.
The truth is, I’ve been fighting to find my new rhythm ever since we arrived in Santa Fe over a year ago.

Have you ever heard the saying, “Push the edges until the edges push back?” I read it on @gapingvoid’s blog. They like pushing the edges a lot, which is a good thing for them. Although, I think it’s also this kind of hustler mantra that can get us in trouble sometimes.

Thanks for nothing, hustlers!

Feeling a need to push the edges was exactly what got me off track. I saw my peers charging ahead while I was still unpacking boxes! I felt like I was falling behind.

If you happened to read my post about ‘Mañana Time’ a few weeks ago, you’ll see that I’ve finally made some progress on that front. Sometimes, the key is to let go of the controls. To let life take care of the rhythm.

Because, when you try to go against life’s plan, life tends to object. It fights back. And it’s going to win every time.

Ask yourself, “What’s wanting to happen?”

Do you like a good quote? Have you ever found one that sticks with you, but you don’t know why? Maybe someone else wouldn’t stop to read it twice. But you feel like there’s a message in it just for you.

You might have guessed; I tend to keep a big collection of quotes. They come in handy at moments like right now! I found this particular one shortly after leaving my big corporate job with Raytheon. For some reason, it has come to mind many times over the past seven or eight years.

But, what’s wanting to happen? What is in the ‘flow?’ What is WANTING to happen? What is so compelling that it pulls you in?”
— Ashley Stahl, career coach

When life’s challenges are stacking up and my resistance isn’t helping things, I try to remember to ask myself Ashley’s questions. Sometimes all I can remember is the first one, “But, what’s wanting to happen?”

That question helps me look beyond a malignant to-do list.

It helps me look beyond my made-up agenda. And Ashley’s questions help me look a little deeper so I can see what I might be missing. For me, in my new world, in this new season… the timeline isn’t as important as ingrained habits are telling me it is.

An eagerness to set the agenda and be in control of all the steps is what caused me to overlook that the journey was already well on its way. I just hadn’t noticed.

Sure, there’s a lot I’d like to chop out of that to-do list. But I was busy with old habits and obsolete mindsets.

Be like water and go with the flow.

In white water sports like rafting, canoeing, or kayaking, the first rule of the river is to paddle faster than the current. If you don’t, the river will own you and the situation will get ugly real fast.

Any energy expended to fight the current will be wasted. And guess what? This is the very time you can’t afford to waste a drop of energy.

In this snippet from one of his posts, Deepak Chopra sums up how going with the flow helps us survive the uncertain twists and turns of this life…

It feels reassuring when events turn out exactly as planned, but the norm is usually different. Life unfolds with uncertainty, and you need to go with the flow instead of resisting it. Competitive types want to constantly win, which involves controlling the game, any game. They may achieve remarkable success but at the cost of a deep fear of losing. Instead of trying to steer the river, sense its current and let it carry you along. You will survive life’s twists and turns with much less stress.”
— Deepak Chopra

So, when life starts piling up, remember…

Our natural response to push back is usually the wrong approach.
The strategies and tactics embraced by hustlers and overachievers will only add to your stress.
To let go of the controls and let life take care of the rhythm.
That old, ingrained habits and obsolete mindsets may no longer be serving you.
To ask yourself, “What’s wanting to happen?”

Then let it.

Be untucked.

p.s. Thanks for dropping by LifeUntucked®. If you found this post helpful be sure to share it with a friend. I owe you one…