Are you tired of living in a world hell bent on fixing you and your weaknesses?
You need to improve this, then that, then something else. The idea stresses me out a bit, how ‘bout you? It’s like you’re shelving who you are just to fit in and be average in an average world.
From grade school to the cubicle, it’s been all about fixing our weaknesses.
Just Stop Doing That.
And don’t worry about it. Stop fighting it… just be who you are. Give yourself permission to stop working on your weaknesses.
We’ve been taught to think it’s the thing to do. But we’ve been taught wrong all these years. The idea is completely backwards.
It’s so simple and so obvious when you break down the logic. It works like this. Take your favorite weakness. For me that would be singing. Now put a lot of time and effort into improving that weakness.
After hundreds or thousands of hours of effort, maybe you’re marginally better.
I still can’t sing.
Put those same hours into improving a strength. To improving what you’re really good at, something that comes naturally for you… the results are exponentially better.
I remember my first performance review at my first job out of college. The second or third category was… you guessed it—Top Three Weaknesses. What a downer. I was so motivated to do better.
There was not a single category that prompted the manager to call out a strength.
Sure, there’s nothing inherently bad about helping employees improve where they may be lacking.
News flash bosses of the world—Everyone procrastinates! Everyone could do better at time management! Everyone can improve in one way or another. Even you.
But not everyone is able to lead others, or give a knock-your-socks-off presentation, or get along with the people in finance.
Here’s the conventional wisdom driving this obsession with weaknesses…
You can become anything you want to be if you just work hard enough.
Good advice or not so good advice? Let’s see…
I was kicked out of my high school garage band because I couldn’t keep the beat. That’s true. Except the part about the garage… it was actually a basement.
Once I figured out that I had no inner metronome, I realized I probably didn’t have much of a future as a musician. At least not one any other musician would play with, or people would dance or even tap their foot to.
I compensated by buying lots of albums.
Here’s another important distinction… awareness of a weakness is 90% of the battle. That is, if there’s even a battle. If you are aware of it, you can navigate around it, over it or even through it. For me that would include avoiding jobs as a bass player or keyboardist in a band.
Fit matters. That’s a rule I try very hard to live by.
If you insist on a good fit when making choices, weaknesses most likely won’t matter much. You’ll be seeking what works best for you… what you’re good at.
You made that choice based on your strengths. Not some notion of you can make it work if you try hard enough.
It’s what you want to get out of something, not what is expected by someone else’s standard.
When you’re presented with an opportunity, ask yourself, “What will I gain? What will I learn from the experience?”
Then ask yourself a more important question, “Is this something that I even want to learn, and does it fit my plans and aspirations?”
Life’s about being comfortable in your own skin and living well. I said that in the welcome message on the home page. And I believe that it may be just that simple. In this case, being comfortable means fitting in that skin.
So, to wrap this one up…
I came across a new word as I was working on this post.
Flawsome — Something that is totally awesome, but not without its flaws. (from UrbanDictionary.com)
That about sums it up, doesn’t it? Be flawsome… because that’s what you are.
If you are interested in a great book on the how and why of focusing on strengths and leaving weaknesses for interviews and performance reviews, check out Strengthsfinder 2.0 by Tom Rath. It may change how you think about a number of things in your life… for the better.
Thanks for visiting LifeUntucked.net! We’ll be exploring this amazing, hyper-connected world and figuring out how to live bigger lives through smaller things and simpler ways. I post on Wednesdays.
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