Thinking Back on a New Normal

Do you remember the talk of a new normal? What would you want to go back to?

Please hang with me. I don’t normally feel the need to make any preemptive statement before I begin writing one of my posts. But this time, as soon as I mention that I got my COVID shot last week, I worry that some readers will immediately stop reading. So, fear not—this post isn’t about vaccinations!

I want to share with you what getting the shot reminded me of—That’s all.

So, I’m not going to venture into vaxes, the politics surrounding the pandemic, or whether COVID was real or not. I happen to be on the side of “it was real.” But real or not, the pandemic changed our lives.

And in many ways, it changed our lives forever. For example, we now have far more flexibility with our work locations. That’s a good thing. And as I think about this post-pandemic era, I’m pretty sure our “new normal” has finally arrived. Although, it’s likely not the same for each of us. Do you think we’re finally catching our post-COVID stride?

Ponder that for a moment—What does your new normal look like?

My shot was followed by a nice long nap. That’s my usual reaction to the vax—I’m not good for much more than a nap so take the excuse and run with it! Why not? In our go-go-go lives, let’s take our breaks when we can. Enough with always looking for reasons not to slow down. Could part of the new normal actually include finding reasons to slow down?

After a couple of hours, I was conscious enough to make it through a movie. And that’s about all. It was entertainment and it helped pass the time. I couldn’t remember the title, the plot if it had one, or what it was about.

So much for doing a Netflix binge on an afternoon off!

Early in the pandemic, one of the first bits of advice I recall hearing was a newscaster reminding us to breathe. “What? You’re reminding me to breathe?” Yes, she was. Turns out I needed the reminder. The thing is, I even needed this reminder way before the pandemic.

And I still keep forgetting to breathe… it’s an old habit I turn to when I’m overstressed. It goes like this. The voice in my head says, “Jeff, you’re feeling stressed and anxious, you should stop breathing for a while.” I reply, “Oh, okay. That sounds right. Can I start with some shallow breathing as a warm-up?”

Then, all the so-called “influencers” at the time were posting memes telling us to look for small wins to celebrate. Did they mean a small win like doing a good job washing my hands? Or bigger than that, like not getting sick? Yet another good idea that I didn’t think applied to the situation. I tried to be a good sport and celebrate anyway.

They also said, “Find some quiet.” Did they realize this may have been more difficult depending on the multitudes of living situations? I was among the lucky ones. There were only the two of us holed up in a big enough house.

Not everyone was so lucky. In a noisy world, any way you look at it, quiet time is elusive. And a gift when you can find it.

In the end, much of the advice we received at the time helped some more than others, and others not so much.

Why we needed, and still need a new normal.

If none of this resonates with your new normal, here is a four-step framework that maps out the journey to a new normal. I’m hoping you’ll find it helpful; if not, entertaining.

I believe we experience change in four phases: panic, adaptation, new normal, and “wouldn’t go back.” —Jason Feifer, editor, Entrepreneur magazine

Full Disclosure—I know for sure the quote above was Jason’s. But from my notes, I can’t recall if the rest is a) his too, b) his with my embellishments, or c) my interpretation of his quote. Whatever the case, I always strive to give attribution when I’m inspired by another writer’s words.

Phase 1, the ‘Oh $#!+’ phase (aka – panic) needs no explanation. We were all present and we knew something bad was on the horizon.

Phase 2, we were finding a new, but temporary routine. Everyone was feeling unsettled. Academic types call this adaptation. The rest of us started to realize this is no short gig. We either learned to adjust or we climbed the walls for the duration or took unnecessary risks.

In Phase 3, everyone was restless… stir-crazy… anxious at best. I tended to think this is what people meant when they kept referring to the new normal. Well, it was for a while. But we needed to move on from anxiety to optimism.

Phase 4, The moment we began to realize there were a lot of things we simply did not want to return to. Things we wouldn’t want to go back to. For starters, things like hour-long commutes.

What we got completely wrong.

Less than two months into the pandemic, I read this in my social media feed:

I think we’re starting to get used to our new normal… or at least it feels that way to me.”—internet marketing guru

I’m not going to name him because at the time he didn’t know any better than anyone else.

I can honestly say I disagreed completely. That was around week three. Nobody was getting used to anything. In week three, we hadn’t even entered the “Oh $#!+, now what?” phase.

Looking back, statements like these are ponderous. Can you believe it? Two months into the pandemic and we were already calling it the new normal! Humans have never adapted to anything that quickly.

Now we’re finding we can barely remember that far back.

Maybe we learned to spend time alone with ourselves. If we were able to do that without climbing the walls, we might have gotten to know ourselves better. Whether we realized it or not, the whole mess was a crash course in adaptability.

Part of the human brain’s defense mechanism is to emphasize good memories over bad. As time passes, we tend to remember the best parts and bury the bad memories deeper in our brain’s warehouse.

My purpose in writing this post isn’t to dig up memories of one of the most horrible and trying experiences of our lifetime. It’s to check in on how we might have managed to adapt and grow from the experience.

Phase 4 above is when we come to terms with the realization that there is much we wouldn’t want to return to, even given the choice. Have you thought about what you wouldn’t want to go back to?

What do you embrace about your new normal? What’s your biggest “wouldn’t go back”? Let me know in the comments.

Be untucked.

p.s. Oh! One last thing, think about sharing this post with a friend. Thanks, I owe you one.