What I’ve learned about waiting by building a house in a post-COVID world.
Just to torture myself, I Googled the question, “How long does it take to build a house?”
The most popular answer was seven months. I’m not so sure I would want that house.
We expect to finish in seventeen months.
Have you ever had to wait? And wait? And wait and wait and wait? I mean really wait for something big. We all have, right? Looking back, the pandemic gave all of us about three years of waiting without knowing what we were waiting for.
It’s the not knowing, the uncertainty, and the lack of control over what could happen next that makes waiting so difficult.
Whatever season of life you’re in right now, given that you’re reading LifeUntucked®, it’s safe to say in addition to recent events, you’ve had your share of waiting in this life. Have you gotten any better at it?
Just think back to when you were a little kid. I don’t know about you, but my head would almost explode sometimes in anticipation of every Christmas season. It was the same waiting for summer to finally arrive. Waiting was simply unbearable back then.
And when you really want something, waiting can still feel unbearable.
Even as an adult. And even with a life full of practice where I’m not sure we learn to be much better at waiting. Why do you think that is?
When I was doing some research on waiting, I found most of the advice was rather thin. It felt like some loosely applied universal advice for when there are no real answers. Time takes time. Pure and simple. And we’re not wired for that like my penguin friends you’ll meet below.
Here’s what you’ll find in this post. 1) a theme song that will help make you feel better, 2) how to focus so you don’t go over the edge (figuratively and literally), and 3) what those penguins taught me about patience and waiting.
Let’s start with the song.
A couple of months or so ago, Lanette and I were driving out to the house to check on the progress and to see what was new. It’s become our Sunday afternoon ritual. The site visits are something we look forward to each week.
Our anticipation builds the closer we get… and waiting is becoming the hardest part.
You wouldn’t have believed it, but this time Tom Petty’s 1981 song, “The Waiting” came on the radio. As I reached for the volume knob I said, “This is it! This is our theme song for the build!”
You know the song, right? And you know, I always thought it was a love song. But it’s perfect for our house-building journey! Especially since we were approaching the one-year mark since breaking ground.
The windows. The cabinets. The weather. Supply chain this, supply chain that.
And even with the excitement and anticipation, we’ve been feeling like move-in day is still way far away.
You can check out the lyrics here. (I’ve been told the record company execs get kind of testy over lyrics).
Even the song took a long time…
Tom Petty explains on Songfacts.com,
[The Waiting] was a song that took a long time to write… I had the chorus very quickly, but I had a very difficult time piecing together the rest of the song. It’s about waiting for your dreams and not knowing if they will come true.”
–Tom Petty
Next, how you focus your attention will help you through your journey.
“Stay focused on the next 100 meters of the trail. Obsessing on the horizon can rob your mojo or lead you off a cliff.”—Randy Hetrick, retired Navy SEAL and TRX Founder
When you’re going through a major ordeal, you’re talking about adjusting to new rhythms and routines. “The next hundred meters” translates to what we can see just ahead. And the “horizon” is what we don’t yet know or accept. Taking a months-long project in manageable steps is a sound and proven strategy.
Always in a big hurry, we humans like to get ahead of ourselves. Whether it’s “making our numbers” at work, achieving a personal goal, or whatever we’ve got our sights set on, we want to leap ahead… often to our own detriment.
Then, carry on with the rhythm of life.
In November 2019, Lanette and I volunteered for Earthwatch as citizen scientists. We worked side-by-side with a team of biologists helping with a study of a Magellanic penguin colony on the Argentinian side of Patagonia.
One of many things we learned while hanging out with over 6,000 mating pairs was that the penguin moms and dads spend a lot of time waiting on each other. And they didn’t seem to mind a bit.
And the remarkable thing is, they’re completely content while they’re waiting. One stays and waits with their chicks while the other goes on a two-to-three-day food-finding swim.
They don’t get irritated, fidgety, or otherwise impatient while their mate is gone. They don’t even have an iPhone to entertain themselves. Go figure.
The penguins know best to maintain the rhythm of their life.
We can get better, maybe even a lot better at waiting. From what I see when I’m out and about, few people ever become highly skilled at waiting. Between our lizard brain and our monkey brain, that’s a high bar.
That said, I am serious about finding a theme song. And if you’re a Tom Petty fan, “The Waiting” is a good one.
When you find yourself laser locked on the horizon, try pulling your focus back—way back. Chunking down a long journey really does help. And as Randy Hetrick points out, it might keep you from falling over a cliff.
And finally, just like those penguins, keeping our wits about us and striking a natural rhythm of life will get you through most of the day-to-day.
Be untucked.
p.s. Best “untucked” quote about waiting, “I wouldn’t be willing to wait without my phone. But my shirt is untucked, so at least I’ve got that going for me.” –Kevin M.
p.p.s I looked back and was surprised to see how much I’ve talked about waiting over the years on LifeUntucked®. We really do spend a lot of time waiting. One of my favorite posts on the subject was titled “How to survive when you’re waiting.” Go ahead and take a sec and check it out here.
p.p.p.s. If you found this post helpful and you’ve got a friend who’s struggling a bit with waiting, maybe you should share it with them?
Copyright © 2023 Jeff Meister – All Rights Reserved – written by a real human
As I try to organize the parts of my answer, I’m hope I don’t keep you waiting, in the end 😁.
Talked with a person I worked for , 40 years ago. He was self employed, always busy, always in charge, always pushy. He is getting a new house built, and told me he was going to see that it was done in 3-4 months. I ask when they started, and he explained it was 2 weeks ago !!
I ask if the contractors were going to get it enclosed, and he was going to finish the interior himself. He said no, he had hired it all to be completed. He said they told him it would be 10-12 months, and he said Nope, it shouldn’t be more than 3-4 months.
I talked to an electrician working out there, and he told me they started on the house before Thanksgiving! I told the electrician what the homeowner had said, and he laughed. He told me the homeowner keeps telling everyone it will take 3-4 months, and eventually he’ll be correct, haha.
When you find out how many processes are involved in a new house, as you are now, I’m sure you realize how unrealistic most people’s assumptions are. You can either buckle down, be a pain in the butt, snd beat your head against the wall ,,,, or you can untuck, and learn from some penguins.
LOL!! Does he fall into the camp of “give them a ridiculous deadline and they’ll finish it faster than they otherwise would have if I had been realistic”? I’ve worked for and with a few bosses like that. One guy in particular, would always say in his proposal kickoff meetings. “And I want all of the sub’s proposals by tomorrow afternoon. If they want our business they’ll do it.” Cheers to the penguins, John!!
Thanks for this, Jeff. And, please say ‘hello’ to Lanette from us! While we wait, and wait, we’re exploring our new surroundings in the NM wilderness. Peace, Lynn & Kevin
We’ve been doing some exploring too, it always takes our thoughts away from waiting! Be well…