It’s going to be just fine as long as we don’t forget what really matters…
Years ago, I picked up this little book at an Eddie Bauer store called Balance – A guide to life’s forgotten pleasures.
Written by Bob Kerstetter and Steve Stone (c) 1996 Eddie Bauer, it was all of a hundred pages including the front and back cover and averaged only ten or fifteen words per page with some basic line drawings.
That little five or six-inch square book, dreaming of becoming a real book someday, was golden… filled with simple treasures like… how to take a nap, how to pretend you can fly, even how to skinny dip.
It came with no guarantees… “won’t change your life… won’t solve any of your deep-rooted psychological problems… won’t make you rich. And it definitely won’t make you sexy.”
The book’s one promise was clear, “It may however, remind you that we, as humans, are basically okay.”
Fast-Forward twenty-two years and I’m needing some reassurance I can grab on to.
I’m supposed to find inner peace with “slow down, take a breath, have fun” because, “things are gonna be fine?”
Hold that thought for a moment.
You know Hugh MacLeod’s blog on gapingvoid.com is one of my favorites. I think it’s because Hugh and his team have an uncanny ability to sort through the noise and find meaning in often overlooked places.
In gapingvoid’s July 16thpost he reminds us that “living is just fine.”
Okay, maybe. It’s just getting harder to remember that. Especially after the last couple of news days.
And, “Sometimes life is just about happily managing the here and now.” And… “Sometimes just being alive and yes, living is just fine.”
Some people are perfectly happy trundling along at the phone company, raising their kids and going fishing on the weekends.” — @gapingvoid
That’s kind of what that little book I mentioned above is all about. The little things that can make us all at least 10% happier (my words) if we let them.
At the risk of letting this become a promo-post for gapingvoid, I’m going to add another snip… this one from their June 27th post…
Turns out it isn’t the shiny objects that make us happy in the long run, but the normal, everyday stuff. A good night’s sleep. The first cup of coffee in the morning. Flying a kite in the park with the kids. A nice glass of whiskey in front of a warm fire.”
What makes you happy in the long run? It’s a good question and also happens to be the title of the post. (You can check it out here)
The answer may be easier that we’re trying to make it.
It starts to get messed up when we start attaching conditions to the pursuit of our happiness.
I can be happy when I get that promotion.
I can be happy when we move into that new house.
I’ll be happy when I get my business up and running.
It goes on… and never ends… because desire always falls short of that next… well, desire.
We start spending all our time and effort in the pursuit of things that we think will reward us with happiness, when all along it’s the things we’re cutting out that hold the true prize in escrow.
So, when we remember to keep a place in our world for the little things, the simpler pleasures, the moments of joy… it all begins to ease up.
Try to keep in mind it’s a journey we’re on, it’s an ongoing process… it’s a work in progress.
And most important, it’s not a place or time you arrive somewhere at some point in time.
So, let yourself enjoy the journey. Work out the kinks with whatever works for you. And trust yourself enough to know that you just need to keep moving forward.
The idea is to keep doing just a little bit better.
And cut yourself enough slack to know that when you slip-up or take a step, or two, or a few backwards… that’s okay too.
Remember… “living is just fine.”
What are some of your go-to ways of “just fine” living? Leave a comment below…
i see life as a varying mix of 3 states: positive, uncertain, negative. Negative ‘thinking’ serves NO purpose except to make us think even more negatively. We can always hold on to something to find a better reality within ourselves if cause of our suffering is more emotional than physical.
Humans being have the powers of reflection which is based upon imagination. No animal has shown imagination and imagining can be our biggest foe or biggest bud. Our animal half always starts freaking out to various degrees when it encounters something it has uncertainty about. This always leads to fear the physical cause AND fearing the non-physical fear. But there is NO need to fear the fear….it can exist simply in the mind as knowledge. So improving mental reality is always possible. Maybe even the suicidal thought of “what reason is there for me to live” can be responded with “Part of me is asking the question so part of me still wants to live”.
I speak as a schizoaffective who overcame his issues with fear and psychosis. Happiness in life is about having options. I prefer to avoid thinking with the ‘should’ in my life. I prefer the more open ‘can but dont HAVE to’ that always leaves an option available in my reality. Appreciate what we. have, not what we think we should have.
Thanks for sharing that, Anoop. There’s a lot of wisdom in your comments. Here’s to appreciating what we have, not what we think we should have!
Hmm, I admit that I was happy with a lot of the “big events” previously listed. Yeah, they were all good and not bad things.
Now, at 71, I am happy planning our next two or three trips – but also another sunset, riding my bike to volunteer four days a week; knowing that my kids and granddaughter will visit us.
Just another day to serve my God, Jesus Christ,
Thanks, Lou! Hmmm… Yes, the “big events” can be good too. Didn’t mean to imply they’re not. Maybe it’s in not making them the goal or the destination? Or maybe it’s the difference between looking forward to… v. putting the other things on hold “until” that big event? For me, I’m looking forward to when all those big buildings aren’t getting in the way of my sunsets!