Being stuck tolerating an unappreciative cat can feel like having a problem without a solution.
After I tried it out a few times, I found Marie Kondo’s power question, “Does it spark joy?” is a great place to start when deciding if you should keep something.
But what about when you can’t simply dispose of that thing?
Here’s my proposition… Some things in our lives spark real joy and happiness and others don’t deserve the generosity we keep extending them by keeping them in our sphere.
Too many of us let ourselves get stuck in a Groundhog Day do-loop through repeated unsuccessful attempts to fix something that didn’t turn out the way we had hoped.
Being stuck in a do-loop will never spark joy or solve a nagging problem without a solution.
Let me explain by sharing a story about two cats and a former coworker.
Jenna, was a very nice person with a very BIG HEART! Although, that big heart didn’t always act in her best interest, as you’ll see in a moment.
One day we were talking about our respective pets… my dog and her two cats. Yes, you read that right—two cats!
It gets better—or worse, depending on your affinity for cats.
Jenna had rescued these two cats just like we rescued our dog, Brodie. And rescuing a cat or dog that needs a home is a wonderful, generous thing to do.
We were among the lucky ones. As many of our friends can attest and have done so without prompting… we won the pet rescue lottery!
My coworker, Jenna wasn’t so fortunate. I’ve got to say she flat out lost the pet adoption lottery, times two.
So had the cats, they had been adopted and returned to the shelter twice. You might think that information would have given Jenna pause. But no…
This is where a BIG HEART gets in the way of sound judgment.
They aren’t her family... they bring her no pleasure whatsoever… they are mean to her visitors… they fight back every time she tries to love them out of her predicament. And they are unappreciative jerks. Sorry—her words!
After hearing the whole story about the two misfits and the sheer mayhem these two cats were inflicting on her life, I can tell you this… Jenna’s answer to the Kondo question would have been a resounding, “Hell no, they don’t spark joy!”
Those cats have never fit into her life. Yet, they’re here to stay… to torment her life unless she decides to do something different. She’s got a problem. What’s the solution?
Einstein’s alleged definition of insanity comes to mind.
Although Jenna’s case calls for the definition of true insanity.
The definition of true insanity is knowing the definition of insanity, and then doing it the same way you always did and still expecting different results.
—Lisa Rangel, executive resume writer
I think you’ll agree—Jenna is going to continue to get the same results unless something gives and I’m not thinking it’ll be the cats.
Sure, it’s easy to judge someone else’s problem.
Here’s where I think she got stuck. Tell me what you think…
Obviously, this is a case of love getting in the way of good sense—and I’m not bashing love. Her big heart is what makes Jenna a nice person and a good friend to have (as long as you can tolerate a couple of attack cats)!
Jenna got stuck on something bigger than her heart.
“I can’t take them back to the shelter… they’ll be put down. And I wouldn’t wish them on any of my friends”—Jenna
(Don’t worry, we’re saving the cats.)
First, Jenna got herself stuck in a bad situation because she couldn’t see any other way out. In her mind, the only solution she could think of wasn’t one she wasn’t willing to do.
When you’re too close to a situation like this, it’s hard to see a good solution. Plus, it’s hard for those close to you to help for the same reasons.
They’re busy trying to help, be supportive, understand your feelings, and be empathetic to your problem.
They were likely seeing her predicament the same way she was.
So, what can you do about the unappreciative cats in your life?
What can you do when you can’t find a way out and your friends and others close to you aren’t much help either?
A good first step is chatting with someone outside of your immediate circle of friends and associates. Consider an independent, third-party who can help clear the fog, provide sound advice, and help you see other possibilities.
If Jenna still wasn’t getting anywhere, she could then engage the help of an outside expert such as a cat behaviorist. (I didn’t suggest a cat trainer because everyone knows cats can’t be trained).
A problem without a solution usually DOES have a solution—or solutions!
Too often, we’ll choose to continue our Groundhog Day do-loop rather than invest in some outside help. Someone who can pull back the curtain so you see your situation more objectively and extricate yourself from that unwanted predicament.
Do you have an unappreciative cat that needs a different arrangement for its place in or outside of your life?
Remember, there will always be more than one or two potential solutions. The challenge is seeing them. By enlisting outside, unbiased help, you’ll greatly increase your odds of discovering the best path forward, especially when it not so obvious.
Be untucked.
Thanks for dropping by LifeUntucked®. If you found this post helpful be sure to share it with a friend. I owe you one…
Copyright © 2022 Jeff Meister – All Rights Reserved
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