How Are You Handling the Silence?

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The strangest question I’ve been asked since moving to the Southwest was a little out of the big blue sky overhead.

I wish I could remember who asked the question, although that’s probably a good thing because I’d have to call them out by name. A friend was visiting, and we were standing outside on our west-facing portal when staring off into the distance toward what we call the badlands, he asked, 

“How are you handling the silence?”

The what?

“It’s really quiet out here, I don’t think I could deal with that all the time.”

I replied silently to myself, Deal with what, exactly? This feels kind of nice to me.

But silence is one of those things we’re not always that comfortable with.

Back in Northern Virginia, I would sometimes sit outside on our deck and listen. Listen to the constant, low rumble and hum of the five-and-a-half million Greater Washington, DC metro area residents tending to their busyness. Yes, I seriously did that… a lot.

My way of coping included a rather unusual form of meditation. I would close my eyes, slow my breathing, and begin to calm my thoughts. One by one I would separate the rumble and hum into each individual wavelength—into each identifiable sound.

Yes, it can be done.

And you might consider trying it if you’re a captive of one of this world’s more noise-saturated areas.

I learned to dissect the hum into its countless parts…

Traffic on Route 7. Reston Parkway. Lawnmowers. Leaf blowers. Jets overhead on approach to Dulles Airport. These were the easy ones to separate.

Kids playing. Car doors slamming. Engines starting. Stopping. The screeching of brakes followed by a crash. 

Dogs barking. Mothers yelling. Horns honking.

One by one, I could find my way down to random birds chirping… then even specific birdsongs. A breeze rustling ever so quietly through the trees. The softer sounds became my reward.

Noise transforming into song.

Years ago, after moving from Dallas to the northeast side of Colorado Springs which wasn’t close to anything noisy, I began to have trouble falling asleep at night. I blamed it on the stress of my job and the unfamiliarity of my new setting.

Funny thing though—my trouble falling asleep was instantly cured when I moved to a different part of the city within audible distance of I-25. Ahh, the familiar hum of the interstate was back in my life. Peaceful slumber once again.

I didn’t even know I had missed it until that comforting lullaby had returned.

It’s not hard to imagine how the noise in our lives can be comforting in some odd, yet familiar way. And silence isn’t always something we immediately seek out as we’re spinning away on our hamster wheels.

Handling silence can be difficult under certain circumstances. The days following 9-11 were eerily silent. Disturbingly so. The tug of war between quieting comfort and alarming discomfort during the pandemic was more disconcerting than pleasant. 

The truth is we’ve found a new silence out here.

Now when I escape to one of our outdoor spaces, I’m able to embrace the silence. Listening to the warm, gentle breeze weave its way in and out of the tufts of desert grasses.

Birdsongs that do not need to be separated from noise. Croaks and caws of the corvids soaring overhead. A pack of coyotes celebrating in the distance as the sun goes down in a raging majesty of color.

And welcome visitors’ tires crunching the gravel as they round the bend in the driveway and head up to the top of the ridge to meet margaritas in waiting.

It is very important to go out alone, to sit under a tree—not with a book, not with a companion, but by yourself—and observe the falling of a leaf, hear the lapping of the water, the fishermen’s song, watch the flight of a bird, and of your own thoughts as they chase each other across the space of your mind. If you are able to be alone and watch these things, then you will discover extraordinary riches which no government can tax, no human agency can corrupt, and which can never be destroyed.”

—Jiddu Krishnamurti, Indian philosopher and orator

So, seek out silence whenever and wherever you can, my friend.

You know, “Silence isn’t empty, it’s full of answers.” —unknown 

And to answer the earlier question, “How are you handling the silence?”

I’m doing just fine. It’s new music for my soul.

Be untucked.

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