Does Your Self-Confidence Ebb and Flow? — 5 Ways to Keep It Steady and Strong

Do you know someone who is ridiculously self-confident in everything they do? I think we all either know or have met someone like that.

So, here’s the big question—Would you like to be one of the few? One of the uber self-confident?

I was reminded of this when we went to see the movie Top Gun: Maverick. It was one of the early scenes where the Top Gun candidates begin the competition by sparring to one-up and ‘out-confident’ each other. 

I was thinking, now that’s a 100% accurate representation of a scrum of Naval aviators.

That level of self-confidence is a prerequisite to being a member of that particular club. 

Here’s another question for you—Have you had times in your life when you felt more self-confident than others? It’s fairly normal for most of us to experience varying degrees of self-confidence. And that’s my point—our confidence will ebb and flow based on various factors and circumstances.

Probably the biggest factor is life in general. Life is hard and getting through your day-to-day bumps and battles means you’re doing a lot right already. But sometimes it can all begin to wear on us.

llegitimi non carborundum,” a mock-Latin aphorism translated as, “Don’t let bastards grind you down.”

If we let them, our self-confidence will take some hits, 

• We won’t handle pressure as well,
• Social situations are suddenly more awkward,
• We start to hold back and don’t put our best foot forward,
• We begin to feel we lack credibility in our work, and
• Our self-image can fade.

Our self-confidence isn’t cast in concrete. It can improve or wane over time and which one is largely up to you.

Self-confidence, like most things in life, has a lot to do with practice.

It reminds me of my forehand in tennis. I used to play a lot and most tennis players will agree that it’s good to take a break from the game from time to time. I’ve heard that about golf, too. Taking a break gives us time for the mental side of the game to process what our brain has learned. Look at it as mental defragging.

Here’s the problem, after that mental break, the physical side seems to think it needs to reset as well. And for me, that usually meant finding that I had reset back to where I started rather than where I left off. After a mental break from the game, it was back to the practice sessions, the repetitive drills, the scrimmages, the workouts, and what have you.

Self-confidence requires the same kind of daily practice and self-care.

Here are five surprisingly simple ways to build and maintain your self-confidence…

1. Get plenty of rest. You can’t alter this part of the equation and get away with it. Maybe for a few days, but after that we begin to pay the price in fatigue and exhaustion, leading to lower self-confidence.
2. Keep a to-do list and track your progress. Even the act of crossing off one completed item gives you a shot of endorphins. And celebrate your victories. Especially the small ones. These mini celebrations reinforce your progress and progress builds confidence.
3. Get out and get social. COVID took a huge confidence toll on us because we were holed up and isolated away from most of our peeps. Zoom was a better bridge than a substitute for socializing in person. It’s easier to be yourself and be confident when you’re among your people. 
4. Get off your duff and stay active. Exercise is a magic bullet if anything is. Building strength while burning off those stress hormones is your one-two punch. Being active outside makes it a trifecta by boosting your vitamin D levels.
5. And finally, be human. Most of us aren’t like Top Gun aviators so we shouldn’t look to them as the standard for self-confidence. Being authentic and true to yourself is a powerful confidence builder.

The goal for having and maintaining an “untucked” level of self-confidence is to be able to remain self-assured when others might feel all hell is breaking loose (you know, like most any day in the past few years).

I read this quote on Meetup’s Community Matters…

…confidence is all about having a realistic sense of your own capabilities and room to grow. The difference between acting confident and being confident is, ironically, the knowledge that you’re not perfect—and knowing that that’s okay.”

— James Quigley, writer, editor, and educator 

You can check out James’s post here.

Unless you’re one of the blessed few, you’ve got to practice daily tweaks and adjustments to reinforce your self-confidence from second-guessing itself. It’s just the way most of us are wired.

Be confident.

Be untucked.

p.s. Thanks for dropping by LifeUntucked®. If you found this post helpful be sure to share it with a friend. I owe you one…

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