Drama and overreaction have become a persistent problem in our culture and around the world.
Yesterday, I realized something critically important that I’ve got to share with you. (Sounds dramatic, doesn’t it?)
Hold onto that thought for a moment while I explain…
I subscribe to a daily video series of quick tips called “Business Made Simple.” They’re produced by Donald Miller, author and creator of StoryBrand.
What if I said we’re living in a new normal these days?
Would you agree? In fact, to take it a step further, I believe the new new normal is changing nearly every day. If not, it sure feels like it.
Whatever the case… you can be sure it’s moving faster than ever.
Let’s unpack this a bit. Here is a short list of just some of what hits us EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.
- Constant news cycles of nothing but bad news
- Endless marketing messages
- Incessant noise
- SPAM
- Robocalls
- Reality TV
- Screens, screens and more screens
- Traffic, lines, waiting
- People yelling, threatening, fighting, and worse
We could go on but there’s no need. I’m sure you get what I mean. We face it everywhere we go… at work, at home, on the streets. Everywhere.
Is it making you more depressed or distressed?
Stick with me for a bit longer, I’m going to share the lesson from Donald’s video that we can all practice that could begin to improve the landscape.
But first, let me share a quick personal story. About eight or nine years ago, I had been given a new assignment as the subcontracts manager for one of my company’s product lines.
After a few months on the job, I ran into our CFO in the hallway. I had worked with him on several other product lines, so we had some history. This is what he said to me…
I’m so glad you agreed to come work with this group. Your steadiness and ability to calm the drama is exactly what this group needs.”
– Mike the CFO
I’m not sharing that story to say, Hey… look at me! I’m sharing it with you because it would not describe me today. That former skill sure would have been useful about a month ago when my fellow homeowners association board members were both yelling at me.
What did I do? Jumped right in, of course… and promptly yelled back.
Reacting. Adding drama. Escalating.
Our new normal of constant stimulus, input, and overload of our senses and the inability to just think quietly has two byproducts…
Lots of “Drama” plus lots of “Overreacting”
It’s what we all do these days… act overly dramatic and react without thinking things through.
Now back to Donald’s video –
The theme was about how to get more people to respect you. Of course, we all want people to like us… but getting respect goes further. And, it’s not as easy to earn.
However, my big take-away wasn’t so much about respect, although it plays into it. Here goes…
People who I respect know how to deescalate drama and tension.”
—Donald Miller
Here’s the simple tip… How do you deescalate drama and tension, when everybody seems to be ESCALATING the drama and tension? The formula is simple…
- Take a step back and pause, pull away from the situation
- Imagine the least dramatic solution to the problem
- Attempt to execute that solution while remaining calm
Drama loses wars, loses battles, and ends relationships. Drama is not fun unless it’s on a stage and you paid to see it.”
– Donald Miller
You may be asking, what was so critically important about sharing that? Those three steps don’t strike me as anything special. Why didn’t just say, “Hey, stop with the drama already?”
I used to be able to do this without thinking… but watching that video gave me the a’ha that let me realize that I too was following the contemporary formula of…
… add three parts drama followed by at least one irrational reaction.
People get wound tighter as a result of everything I mentioned up top, plus about a thousand others… and we experience them daily.
Take a step back, imagine the least dramatic reaction possible, and just go with that.
Someone has to stop the cycle… why not you? Why not me? It will at least serve to calm the situation rather than add fuel to the fire. Who knows? The right amount of non-reactivity without the drama may just cool things off enough to make most any situation a little bit better.
Let’s give it a shot…
Be untucked.
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Copyright © 2019 Jeff Meister
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